weakness vs reputation

Throughout The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien, he illustrates ideas of weakness and fear with respect and reputation by emphasizing the effect those have on the soldiers throughout the war, not only do these fit in with O’Brien’s book but with modern day Iraq veteran stories as well.  During the course of this book, O’Brien talks about weakness and the fear and guilt that go along with it.  How every soldier lets it silently tear them up just so they can seem brave; “They carried the common secret of cowardice barely restrained… in many respects this was the heaviest burden of all, for it could never be put down…”(20, O’Brien).  Fear was always with them, through every mission it weighed on them but they kept it from each other, knowing each of them had this weakness they couldn't face head on.  This weakness and fear also shows up in the Iraq veteran story of Kobe Bazelle.  During his audio Kobe tells the story of when his platoon was ambushed, and how “all hell came from all around us, out of nowhere…”(Kobe).  In the past he stated how everything was almost normal in the war, but that night he thought “I’m going to die, I can’t put into words how scared I was I just kind of lost it after that…”(Kobe).  Fear is usually considered to be a weakness, but in the eyes of O’Brien, facing that fear makes you courageous, not just hiding it.  Kobe in a way faced that fear by talking about his weakness in that moment, how he was scared and didn't want to die, but yet he still didn't face it head on, he was thrown into it, expected to survive it.  That weakness within fear and shame both show up in modern day warfare stories and  in past war stories as well.  This idea itself is almost like a mask effect, you see the face people or soldiers make to seem courageous but once you get into real fears you can tell what lies underneath.

Even though O’Brien writes a great deal about fear and weakness, he also mentions the idea of reputation and the respect it holds.  Each soldier tries to cover up some fear they have in order to appear courageous, when they’re under attack they can make jokes about it later but when something embarrassing happens to them, they immediately protect their reputation.  O’Brien mentions how Curt Lemon “had a tendency to play the tough soldier role, always posturing, always puffing himself up,” (82, O’Brien) to appear courageous and brave, but when he finally had to face his fear head on he fainted; “ -but there was something about a dentist that just gave him the creeps… he fainted even before the man touched him.”(83, O’Brien).  Once this embarrassment happened to Lemon he immediately tried to save his reputation, “...the man finally shrugged and shot in the Novocain and yanked out a perfectly good tooth. There was some pain, no doubt, but in the morning Curt Lemon was all smiles.”(84, O’Brien).  Once he was able to show that he could face his fear, his reputation to the other men seemed redeemed; no longer was he some guy that fainted at his fears, he was a soldier who could take his fears and that earned respect.  The idea of respect and reputation was also visible in the Iraq story of Truman Muir.  One of the most significant things Truman states is that “[his friend] didn't die for nothing.”(Truman).  While his car was bombed his friend and him were injured and taken to get care, but while  he was in surgery his friend died from severe head trauma; he wants his friends death to not be in vain, that he died upholding his reputation and not only does that deserve respect but it deserves to be known.  Truman,though, survived with only a leg injury and once he came back to the U.S decided he wasn't going to tell people the truth, that “it’s awkward because when I tell them what happened they don’t know what to say… I feel weird saying it, they feel weird hearing it…”(Truman).  Truman’s reputation on upholding his friends reputation is at stake, not only is he somewhat embarrassed by what happened but it makes other’s too, some give him respect by “saying thank you for my service”(Truman) while others “say ‘Oh that sucks, I’m sorry’ and turned away slightly embarrassed.”(Truman).  Reputations are a way for people to make assumptions about you, the soldiers in The Things They Carried depended on those to make them appear strong and courageous, someone you could trust; just like Lemon though it made the veteran appear strong until the aftermath, until they showed they could overcome that fear.